Why is it so hard to change our patterns and habits, even if we know we are in control and that these patterns are hurting us?

I think it is the Ego trying to hold on to whatever it can. Ego wants to stay in control. It will dig it’s hooks into us in the form of unhealthy patterns, habits and addictions. It doesn’t want to give up.

So how do we overcome the Ego and tear out those hooks?

We have to love ourselves. If you don’t love yourself, there is no way happiness can enter your life. If you don’t love yourself you will always be looking for something to replace that love and happiness that is missing. If you don’t love yourself, how can anyone else love you? All I want is to spread love, but if I don’t love myself, that is going to be a challenge.

I guess deep down inside we all love ourselves and everyone else in the world, when we were born this was the case. But at some point in our lives someone or something gave us the impression that we were wrong to love our self and everything else. We then started to believe this to be true and developed habits and patterns to re-enforce our new thinking so that it just is, it doesn’t even need to be thought about. The Ego knows that the less we contemplate and analyse our own way of living the more control it has. So I think, that is why the Ego creates habits and addictions, so we just act without thinking as much as possible. How many cigarette smokers ask themselves why inhaling tobacco smoke is necessary when they are smoking?
Another amazing thing the Ego does is that it actually tries to make everyone else close by act and (not) think the same way. If it finds someone that absolutely will not listen and abide by this way of living, it creates an enemy out of them and completely shuts them out if not eliminating them altogether.

So how do we start to love ourselves?

We must realize that we are not our ego, we are not our thoughts. We must watch our thoughts and especially our feelings and question them. We have an average of 60,000 thoughts per day, 95% of those thoughts will be the same the following day. Just ask yourself “are these thoughts true?”.
If you you feel good about everything you think, say and do and it makes everyone involved feel the same way, you will automatically love yourself and everything else. This is so because there is no room for ego with it’s habits and addictions within you.

Just be careful, the ego (at least mine) is very sneaky. It finds its way back slowly and silent, and before you know it you’re depressed or caught up in some emotion.

All I can say is pay attention to your thoughts, because that is where everything is born, and make sure they are going to bring you and those around you positivity and LOVE.